Author Archives: Alexander

Dinosaur Of The Day: Tyrannosaurus

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Today I wanted to profile the dinosaur most requested for kid’s birthday parties on our sister site shipdinosaurs.com … the cute and cuddly Tyrannosaurus.

(Ty-ranno-sore-us)

Meaning: Tyrant reptile

Height: 20ft 

Length: 39 ft

Weight: 7.7 tons

Age: 65 million years

Diet: Tyrannosaurus can swallow up to 500lbs of meat in a single bite, so keep those steaks coming. If you’re too squeamish for live food, T-Rex can scavenge, but it can smell meat from miles away so house it as far as possible from the nearest burger joint. However, you can use these smells to lure it into a cage for any medical check-ups. 
Although T-Rex deserves the best, we can’t offer live duck billed Edmontosaurs. Triceratops are popular though, so check with our “dino-donor” team for any newly departed pets, as well as your local zoo. Otherwise, provide a small herd of buffalo every 2 weeks.

Personality: As its full name “Tyrannosaurus Rex” suggests, the T-Rex is the lizard king and wants everyone to know it. Gregarious and quick-moving, it will make itself known to you, your neighbors, and their neighbors by striding around and roaring. It will also lunge for you on sight. With its babies, however, you couldn’t find a more doting parent.

Dino Care: You ordered the best, so it needs the best. You’ll need a whole team to manage this dino.

Speaking of which, its huge fangs will need scrubbing to prevent decay. Tyrannosaurus has a bite four times stronger than a lion’s, so reinforce its pen with steel, concrete and electric fences.Always have rangers with darts on standby. 

Shipping: Your team should accompany us from Montana’s Hell Creek Formation so they get to know the animal. We dart all Tyrannosaurs before travel as a precaution, and transport them by air or sea with a military escort.

Delivery Time: Your naval or air force contact will confirm, but on average 24 hours by cargo plane, 3 days by sea. We recommend night landings for fewer innocent bystanders.

Ideal for: Maximum terror; or for starting your own “dino zoo”. That would never go wrong.

Item Of The Day: Brew Your Own Cup Of Java

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Is your neighborhood barista not good enough? Would you like to try growing you own coffee? Our script has found this listing on Etsy for Coffea Arabica beans.

Keywords: seed, garden, coffee, Etsy

From the Etsy seller…

It is also known as the “coffee shrub of Arabia”, “mountain coffee” or “arabica coffee”. Coffea arabica is believed to be the first species of coffee to be cultivated, being grown in southwest Arabia for well over 1,000 years. It is said to produce better coffee than the other major commercially grown coffee species, Coffea canephora (robusta), but tastes vary. C. arabica contains less caffeine than any other commercially cultivated species of coffee.

The fruit is a drupe (though commonly called a “berry”) 10–15 mm in diameter, maturing bright red to purple and typically contains two seeds (the coffee ‘bean’).

C. arabica produces small, white and highly fragrant flowers. The sweet fragrance resembles the sweet smell of jasmine flowers. When flowers open on sunny days, this results in the greatest numbers of berries. The berries are oblong and about 1 cm long. Inferior coffee results from picking them too early or too late, so many are picked by hand to be able to better select them, as they do not all ripen at the same time. They are sometimes shaken off the tree onto mats, which means that ripe and unripe berries are collected together.

Planting Instructions:

Peel the hulls off the seeds before planting so they can germinate.

Plant The coffee tree pepper requires rich soil, plenty of water, humid conditions, and partial shade. Plant seeds indoors 1/2″ deep. Keep soil moist and from drying out. Keep temperature between 80 and 85 degrees. Transplant in larger pots as seedling grows.

Germination: 60 days

Dinosaur Of The Day: Stygimoloch

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Today I wanted to profile one of the newest dinosaurs sold on our sister site shipdinosaurs.com… the friendly stygimoloch.

(Stih-jim-oh-lock)

Meaning: Spiny demon of the River Styx

Height: 4 ft

Length: 10 ft

Weight: 200 lbs

Age: 65 million years

Diet: Today’s ferns, cycads and gingko leaves may have lost their Cretaceous flavour, but they’re still good for a Stygimoloch stomach.

Stygimoloch looks terrifying with the sharp spikes on its nose, cheeks, and the huge horns sticking out the back of its skull. But it’s an herbivore, and that’s not the only surprise: it might grow into the larger, dome-headed Pachycephalosaurus.

Personality: This dino is calm onits own, but can get rowdy in groups when it tries to show off.  Luckily its skull isn’t hard enough forhead-butting, but always approach it head on, or it might side-slam you with spikes.

Dino Care: If it does grow into a Pachycephalosaurus, its horns couldget itchy as they change shape. Have plenty of rocks and tree stumps in its enclosure so it can give them a good rub. The walls should also be reinforced with concrete, just in case.

Shipping: Fittingly, our Styxriver demon ships straight from Montana’s Hell Creek Formation. As long as it isn’t spooked, it travels solo pretty well in small crates.

Delivery Time: Available next day by truck or train!

Ideal for: Scaring recipient without any real danger.

Dinosaur Of The Day: Concavenator

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Today I wanted to profile one of the most popular dinosaurs sold on our sister site shipdinosaurs.com… the cuddly concavenator.

File:Concavenator corcovatus by Daniel Vidal 2012.png

(Con-kah-ven-ate-or)

Height: 6ft

Length: 13ft

Weight: 2-3 tons

Age: 130 million years

Diet: Iguanadontid steaks like Delapparentia are hard to come by, so try a balanced diet of steer or even alligator. It goes with the swamp, after all!

After taking in the sharp teeth, claws, and 16 inch hump toward the end of its back, you’ll notice Concavenator also has strange feathery bumps on its arms!

Personality: It may seem “shy”, but don’t be fooled – it’s hiding so it can eat you. It dislikes all contact with humans, so will glare at you even when darted.

Dino Care: Everyone wants the Everglades in their backyard, and Concavenator gives you an excuse. It prefers warm, woody wetlands where it can ambush its prey, so tether live food or enrichment toys near the thickest brush. Any indoor space will need a high ceiling for its hump. We recommend setting up night vision and camera traps in its enclosure to check its welfare. (Before you release it, obviously.)

Shipping: Due to a logistics error, we discovered Concavenator can be shipped long haul with a short haul amount of food, possibly due to it storing fat in its hump. Sending it via freight train from central Spain and then shipping container works best, due to fewer human passengers and staff.

Delivery Time: 3 days via cargo plane (quicker, but more expensive and dino closer to humans); 17 days via freight train and sea (preferred: less contact, more evacuation options).

Ideal for: A rare but show-stopping glimpse; eating trespassers.

Item Of The Day: Sushi Maker

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Do you love homemade sushi but hate the cramps you get from hand rolling? Do your sushi always come out pear-shaped? This sushi maker might be just what you need.

I’m not sure how our script found this product, but it is an affordable $6.71 and easy to use. We’ve sent these to 27 customers so far. Of those customers 26% have given it a ‘thumbs up’ and none have given it a ‘thumbs down’. That means our algorithm is going to buy a lot more little sushi machines.

Keywords: tool, household, sushi, maker